


Until the Leaves Break

by jeyyuum



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 14:25:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14498976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeyyuum/pseuds/jeyyuum
Summary: Chanyeol only realized he had traded his home for his dream when he comes back 15 years later.





	1. prologue

Baekhyun swears to himself that this will be the last promise they will have to break.

Leaning his back against the tree behind him, he lets out a sigh at the decision he didn’t think he could ever thought of considering. He sends an apologetic smile towards the old woman who’s been sweeping all the grass he’s pulled out since while back and got an eye roll as a reply.

Nice, Baekhyun thinks, at least he wasn’t the only one unhappy today.

“I’m so fucking old.” He groans as he feels the muscles in his lower back cramp when he tried to lift himself up. How long has he been at the park this time? 8 hours? 10? 12? He places a hand on the tree for support as he gets on his feet and brushes the remaining traces of soil off his hands.

Spending a whole day under a particular tree every 31st of January only to come back empty-handed is nothing new to Baekhyun as he has been constantly doing this for the past years. He sits on the same spot, in the same place, with the same feeling of hope and desperation to see the person he unfailingly waits for, and goes home with the same feeling of weariness and disappointment every single time.

And every single time, he tells himself that he shouldn’t feel like this anymore because today is nothing different to the other 31st of January’s he has also wasted. Today’s 10 hours of waiting only adds to his 10 years of longing, so what’s the point of still being disappointed with something you’ve already expected?

But at the same time he reprimands himself of what shouldn’t be there anymore, a part of him also reminds him that it is only he who makes them stay; the silenced truth that it is _only_ he who forces himself to still be disappointed—to still feel disappointed shouts at him from the back of his mind. There is no one to blame but him for still choosing to fool himself into believing that he isn’t used to this up until now, and that it’s because the feeling rarely ever comes and it never stays with him like it truly does because it’s _supposed_ to be like that.

 _Yes,_ Baekhyun agrees with his delusional mind as it comes up yet again with another hollow excuse. It’s supposed to be like that.

Because Chanyeol is supposed to go home—he’s supposed to _be_ home.

“ _Chanyeol,_ ” He mutters under his breath, as if trying to remember the feeling that comes whenever the name rolls off his tongue, “ _Park Chan—_ ”

And he doesn’t dare to finish saying it because the feeling comes back; the pain that he thought was long gone comes back and it suddenly hurts more than it should be and it amazes and maddens him at the same time how Chanyeol could still render him miserable with just the mere mention of his name.

Here he is, still letting his stupid self wait by this tree every 31st of January just because a certain person had promised to be back on the same date that he had departed to pursue his dream, and had made him promise to wait for him no matter how long it takes.

He laughs and screams afterwards, making the little birds on the branches of the tree fly off. He’s losing his patience, he’s losing his dignity, and he’s losing a grip of his sanity and Chanyeol still hasn’t shoved his achievements on Baekhyun’s face.

He knows he’s really being stupid by now, but he can’t help himself from getting angry for the first time in years at the fact that Chanyeol hadn’t even bothered to send him a message, give him a call, or just _anything_ that assures Baekhyun and wouldn’t make him forget that he’s still waiting for someone—that he’s still waiting for Chanyeol.

He can’t help himself but to finally get angry at the fact that Chanyeol hadn’t even bothered to make him feel that he is important.

Now that Baekhyun thinks of it, he realized that maybe he really isn’t a significant part of Chanyeol’s life.

Maybe it was really just Chanyeol who’s a significant part of Baekhyun—of his life, and _of_ him.

 _8:00 PM._ The glaring numbers on his phone stares back at him as he decides to sit back down and pick on the grass again. He’s hungry and thirsty and tired but he doesn’t take any of that as a reason to go home. He only has 4 hours left of waiting, what’s there to lose, right?

What more does he have to lose?

(How much more does he have to lose?)

Baekhyun’s been asked so many times why he still insists on doing this, and truthfully, he often asks himself that too, mainly because he doesn’t want to admit that he knows the answer—that he has so, _so_ many answers to it and he doesn’t want to hear any single one of them coming from his own mouth. He doesn’t want to admit that even a decade later, he still wants Chanyeol. And so whenever the date comes, he still patiently waits like the fool Chanyeol has made him into.

He doesn’t want to admit, especially to himself, that keeping his promise to Chanyeol seems to be the only right decision he has made in his whole life and yet regrets it so, _so_ much.

But how, a larger part of Baekhyun asks: how does one consider their decision right if they weren’t even a bit happy with it?

” _Boinky boinky~ It’s time to wake up~_ ”

The sound of Chanyeol’s mechanical voice breaks the silence as his phone’s alarm goes off. He remembers Chanyeol’s expression that matches the librarian’s fuming face when his phone started playing S.E.S’ _I’m Your Girl_ loudly because someone forgot that he has set an alarm at 4 pm at full volume. Chanyeol later snatched his phone from his hands after getting kicked out and recorded his own voice because apparently, he can be jealous even at idols—especially _girl_ idols.

Ah, he could live reminiscing the special moments in his life forever. How he wishes going back in time makes time stop so he would not have to do something that should have been done years ago.

How he wishes he can really stop time because he does not think he can do this. He doesn’t want to do this. He doesn’t want to move on. He’s not ready to move on.

Not yet. Not now.

(Not ever.)

_00:00. February 1._

Another 31st of January went by, and Baekhyun still hasn’t seen even just a shadow of Chanyeol.

“ _Boinky boinky~ It’s time to wake up~_ “

Maybe this really is the time to wake up.

“ _Boinky boinky~ It’s time to wake up~_ “

Maybe this really is the time for him to leave the chapter he’s been stuck on for so many years and turn the next page.

“ _Boinky boinky~ It’s time to wake up~_ “

Maybe this really is the time to let go.

“ _Boinky boinky~ It’s time to wake up~_ “

Today, Baekhyun promises to himself that this would be the last time he will go to this park. This would be the last time he will wait by this tree, and this year’s would be the last 31st of January that will be spent waiting for someone who’s never coming back.

And the promise to wait for Chanyeol will be the last promise he will have to break.

 

” _Boinky boinky~ It’s time to wake up~_ ”

” _Boinky boinky~ It’s time to wake up~_ ”

” _Boinky boinky~ It’s time to wake up~_ ”


	2. one

“Um, excuse me, but can you please move your foot a bit?”

“Um, excuse me too, but how the fuck do you even expect me to move?”

The sad thing about the school that Baekhyun’s in is that they still do the traditional “assembly” every Fridays, and it’s just his luck that the classes only started this week, which means longer assembly time because the teachers will still have to introduce themselves one by one and enlighten the students about the school’s activities and shit and Baekhyun just wants to go back to their classroom, or better yet, go home.

But the sadder thing about it is that they are told to sit on the floor of the school’s auditorium, and sitting on the floor takes so much space than needed when sitting on plastic chairs and Baekhyun swears he will beat the shit out of this guy if he still doesn’t realize that there is literally no space to even lift a fucking finger.

“But…” the boy’s face saddens as he looks down on the floor. “the ant…”

_What?_

Baekhyun followed his gaze and sees that his foot is blocking the way of an ant. _What the actual fuck—_

“So…” the man tries again, “can you please move your foot a bit?”

Baekhyun’s expression turns into a scowl. “Oh yeah, sure.”

He raises his foot _a bit,_ and moves it _a bit_ to hover it just above the ant, then he steps on it.

“NO!” the idiot shouts at him and he looks like he’s close to crying. “O-oh my god… you—“ his lips tremble as he shakily raises a finger to point at Baekhyun. “y-you…”

“Oh my god, me,” Baekhyun imitates him and points at himself too before swatting the boy’s index finger away from his face. “What are you, five?”

Now it’s the boy’s turn to glare at him. “I’m old enough to know that what you did isn’t in any way reasonable and that it’s not only humans who have the right to live.”

Baekhyun stares at him for a second before he laughs, mouth covered with his hands but still loud enough for the students sitting beside them to turn their heads towards his direction. Is this man for real? How could you even think of ants and animal rights when you’re currently being sandwiched by your sweaty schoolmates because the school doesn’t put their huge ass air conditioners to use?

“Why are you laughing?” The boy looks genuinely confused and that made Baekhyun laugh even more. “No—wait, please stop, the teachers might hear you—seriously shut the fuck up.”

It wasn’t until a minute later that Baekhyun decides to finally stop laughing. “I like how your brain functions.”

The boy has a wounded look on his face. “I am seriously offended.”

“Please don’t be.” Baekhyun smiles at him for the first time. He meant it. The boy seems so pure and innocent and it’s like a breath of fresh air for Baekhyun. “I actually missed it.”

The boy tilts his head slightly. “Missed what?”

“Hearing uncomplicated things,” his eyes spot an ant near the boy’s foot that seems to be running in circles. “Hey look,” Baekhyun pointed a finger towards the ant. “that one looks drunk.”

The boy looks at where Baekhyun is pointing at and chuckles. “What if it is?”

“Huh?”

“What if it really is drunk?”

“Alright, let’s say that it is.” Baekhyun decides that playing along wouldn’t hurt. “But what would be the reason, though?”

“What if he’s sad?” The boy answers quickly.

“Wow. So _you_ get to decide that it’s a _he_ instead of me?” Baekhyun jokingly pouts at him. “I saw it first.”

“He’s a _he_.” The boy defends his verdict with confidence. “He doesn’t seem feminine.”

Baekhyun gapes at him, “How the fuck do you even analyze an ant’s body structure?!”

“Just because.”

Baekhyun couldn’t do anything but blink at him. “That… is a well-structured explanation.”

“Uh huh, just because.” The boy repeats it for him and Baekhyun doesn’t stop himself from slapping a hand on his face.

“Do that later,” the boy holds his wrist to stop him slapping his face. “Let me finish my hypothesis first.”

Baekhyun wanted to slap his face more but the grip on his wrist is tight and so he lets his hand fall back on his lap. “Yeah,” hypothesis _._ “Sure. Whatever.”

The boy beams at him and Baekhyun thought for a moment that he looks beautiful with his right eye twitching, “As I was saying, what if he’s sad? What if he lost his job and his family left him because of that or his wife left him for another man who got the job he just lost—“

“Christ, dude, calm the fuck down.” Baekhyun covers the boy’s mouth with his palm. “I can’t even understand shit.”

“Sorry,” the boy pokes on his wrist with his index finger and Baekhyun can feel his smile on his palm. He moves his hand away and smiles back at the boy. _Cute._

“Really?”

“Huh?”

“You think I’m cute?”

Baekhyun’s closes his eyes in embarrassment and heaves a sigh as he realizes that his brain-to-mouth filter fucks up yet again. “No. Fuck you.”

The boy slowly inches his face closer to his and Baekhyun swears his heart will get out of his chest any minute now if the boy doesn’t stop with his ridiculous attempt of flirting. “When?”

Baekhyun covers his face with his palms. “I feel so harassed.”

“Heh. Shouldn’t I be the one to feel—“

Baekhyun covers the boy’s face with both of his palms and his voice turns serious. “Stop.” Some of the teachers are already looking at them and Baekhyun doesn’t really want to receive an invitation to hell that comes in the form of a detention slip today.

The boy seems to notice it and he sits properly. “Oh. Sorry.”

None of them talked after that and Baekhyun tries to avoid the awkward feeling by setting his gaze on the stage where a teacher is talking about something he doesn’t really care about and pretends to listen to her.

Ah, this is going to be a long day. Baekhyun can feel it.

Baekhyun is not much of an outgoing person. He doesn’t know how to start a conversation with other people unless there is something important that needs to be talked about, and neither does he know how to prolong one. He’s also always told that he “makes the atmosphere awkward” because he—unintentionally, in his defense—often cuts conversations short which makes the people he’s talking to—again, unintentionally, in his defense—feel uncomfortable.

He himself knows that he might be a little hard to talk to, especially if you’re a stranger to him, and so it makes him wonder why his conversation with the boy beside him earlier seemed so casual as if they have known each other for years.

Baekhyun decides that he wants to be friends with the boy, and it seems like the other also wants to, so it wouldn’t be bad to try, right?

 “Let’s be friends.” “Let’s be friends.”

They both said at the same time. Baekhyun wouldn’t deny that he’s slightly amused with the pink tinting the boy’s face. “Okay.” The pink becomes red and now reaches the tip of his ears and Baekhyun hopes that he doesn’t look the same. “Baekhyun,” he extends his hand for a shake. “Byun Baekhyun.”

The boy only slaps his hand away and frowns at him, “Yah. Don’t tell me you don’t know my name.”

Nope, he doesn’t. “Uh…”

“We’re classmates,” Baekhyun looks lost and confused and the boy is now glaring at him. “since fifth grade.”

“Um, wow? Five years? Haha?” Baekhyun can feel his face heat up from embarrassment. “I’m sorry…?”

The boy folds his arms across his chest and stares blankly at him. “I can’t believe you.” he shakes his head. “To think that we’re not even more than twenty in class.”

Baekhyun brings a hand to his nape and smiles apologetically. “I, um, usually don’t… notice… people…?” The boy is still glaring at him and he clears his throat. “Sorry.”

“Alright, I accept your half-assed apology.” The boy reaches for his hand and shakes it violently while smiling. “Park Chanyeol. That’s the name you will never forget.”

Baekhyun smiles and shakes his head, “Conceited bastard.”

They were both smiling at each other when Baekhyun realizes that the boy is still forcefully shaking his hand.

“Ow! Dude, stop! You’re breaking my wrist!”


	3. two

Chanyeol never left his side since then. He sits next to him in class, eats with him during lunch breaks, and even goes with him to the bathroom. Chanyeol is practically a leech who sucks the inner peace out of his system that he sometimes just wants to step on his neck and cry at the corner.  His clinginess is in a whole new level of suffocating that there were times where Baekhyun regretted befriending him.

That might have been too harsh, but it’s because he is serious when he says that Chanyeol is always there; _always_ that he can’t even hang around in the library anymore because Chanyeol can’t keep his mouth shut to save his life, nor can he even study while eating like he used to because Chanyeol is there to distract him, and he is not that bad to push the tall man away because that would make the latter sad, and a sad Chanyeol could not even compare to any annoying thing you could ever think of—a thing he had learned in a painful way.

All Baekhyun has are acquaintances; Chanyeol is his first actual friend so it’s all new to him. And by _new,_ he meant that having someone practically glued by his side is obviously not something he could quickly get used to.

 _“One simple decision might weigh heavier than you expect.”_ is what his mom always tells him, and maybe he should have thought of this better because here he is, months after, might or might not be regretting his life choices.

Baekhyun bangs his head on the table for the nth time and muttered to himself. “I want my life back.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Chanyeol places the chicken leg that he’s holding back on Baekhyun’s plate. “Thought you wouldn’t notice since you’re busy trying to get yourself a concussion.”

He immediately lifts his head up to check on his plate. “What—why’s that with you—wait, don’t I have a piece of chicken nugget left?”

Chanyeol’s hand freezes midway and it holds something that _suspiciously_ looks like a chicken nugget. “Oh. Sorry.” The fucker even had the audacity to take a bite before placing it back on his plate. “Thought you wouldn’t notice that too.”

Baekhyun presses his lips on a thin line as he looks at the boy who’s munching happily like a kid. “No, I don’t think you’re sorry.”

“You’re right—“ Chanyeol burps out loud and smugly smiles at him. “I’m not.”

Slumping over the clean side of the table, Baekhyun dejectedly bites on his chicken and sighs as he chews. “Oh my lord. I did not wish to have a pet pig.”

“Hey!” Chanyeol crosses his arms and pouts at him. “I go to the gym every weekend…”

Baekhyun’s tilts his head slightly and his lips form into a smirk when Chanyeol averted his gaze. “Oh, please do continue.”

Chanyeol’s whole face is red. “…because my uncle works in there and my mom wants me to bring him lunch.”

“Aw.” Baekhyun teasingly coos at the blushing boy in front of him. “It’s alright. That’s not something to be shy about.”

Still pouting, Chanyeol looks down on his belly that is slightly visible on his shirt when he sits and pats it. “But this is.”

He chuckles at Chanyeol’s devastated face. “Nah. Your baby bump looks fine. Second trimester?”

“You know what, fuck you.” The right side of Chanyeol’s upper lip twitches and Baekhyun juts his lower lip to annoy him more.

“Aw. Oinky is mad at me.”

“Sweet. But can’t you give me a more endearing pet name?”

Baekhyun blinks at him twice. “It wasn’t a pet name, and it wasn’t supposed to be endearing.”

“Don’t take it back, I actually like it.” Chanyeol sticks his tongue out in a playful manner. “But wait. I just realized we don’t have nicknames for each other yet. What should I call you then?”

 _Oh god here we go,_ Baekhyun sighs and finally decides to finish his food before Chanyeol stops talking and steal his entire plate.

“Since you know, we’ve been friends for a long time now and we’re still stuck with Baek and Yeol and Hyun and Chan—”

Baekhyun stops chewing for a second just to snort because apparently, four months is already a long time for Chanyeol when they aren’t even past the second grading period yet, but it’s not that he disagrees, because it actually feels like he has known the latter for so long, which is still strange for him since he’s not the type of person who easily opens up to someone. And it amazes him that though in just months’ time, Chanyeol already seems to know him like the back of his hand.

“—and our friendship needs some leveling up and I see that almost every people share a lame pet name with their best friend and…“

Taking the last spoonful of rice, he peeks at his wristwatch and sees that lunch time ends in 10 minutes so he decides to finish Chanyeol’s food as well because seeing the way he’s rambling, he doesn’t think Chanyeol still has plans on eating it. Besides, he’s eaten half of Baekhyun’s food anyway, and he’s been with Chanyeol long enough to know that the boy has poor metabolism. He for sure wouldn’t be hungry anytime soon.

“I’ve actually thought of just ‘Hyunnie’. You know, like, Yeollie and Hyunnie? Sounds cute, right? But then you gave me ‘Oinky’ and I’ve never felt so betrayed in my entire life so your shitty ass deserves a stinky nickname too—hey are you still listening to me?”

Baekhyun doesn’t even know what Chanyeol just said but he’s dipping his half-eaten chicken nugget on barbeque sauce and that’s all that matters so he agrees. “Hm.”

“Whatever. I think I’m also gonna go with animals ‘cause you suck and you look like a salivating Labrador and you’re going to agree with me since you’re not really listening, am I right?”

“Hm.” He takes Chanyeol’s empty glass and whispers a drawn-out _iiice!_ when he sees that there’s still an ice cube left. He shoots the straw into the hole in its center and carefully lifts it up, but the plastic straw was so bendable and the ice cube just fell back down to the glass.

Chanyeol stares at Baekhyun as the latter takes the ice cube from his glass with his bare fingers and puts it inside his mouth. Baekhyun suddenly seems so bouncy as he happily chews the ice inside his mouth—

 _Bouncy! That’s it!_ Chanyeol grins to himself. “Forget I said anything about animals. I now know what to call you!”

Baekhyun is too happy to care. “Hm.”

“Boinky.”

Baekhyun finally looks at him and Chanyeol thinks that the stupid ice finally melted. Really, he still finds Baekhyun’s… obsession?—with ice weird. There isn’t a day you won’t be seeing Baekhyun eating ice cubes like it’s his favorite snack (and Baekhyun told him that it really is). He asked him once and Baekhyun, being the idiot that he is, gave him a stupid answer because he thinks he’s funny:

_“They’re mouthwatering.”_

Chanyeol still cringes at joke (“Really, Baekhyun, was that supposed to be a joke?” “Haha. But it made you smile.”) until now. And here he thought Baekhyun is the civil one in this relation— _shit,_ he wasn’t going to say relationship, was he?

He felt his heart skip a beat and he shrugs it off by going back to their topic. “I-I’m calling you ‘Boinky’ from now on.”

He mentally cursed himself for stuttering but thankfully, Baekhyun didn’t seem to notice by the way he’s staring at him as if he said that fishes can have legs when they’re on land. “Where the fuck did you even get that?”

“Well,” Chanyeol pauses for a second to think for a more logical explanation than ‘ _because you actually bounce on your seat when you’re happy boing boing_ ’. “B plus Oinky; B, the first letter of your name, and oinky, the pet name you gave me. In short, Baekhyun and Chanyeol, because you can never live without me, yes, thank you very much.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes at the sudden self-flattery but he nods because surprisingly, he liked the stupid nickname. “Hm, I think I like it. A bit. Like, very little.” He liked it a _lot_ because the explanation behind it made it appealing for him, but Chanyeol doesn’t need to know that. “Kidding. I don’t like it.”

“You can’t just change your mind like that, you jerk.” Chanyeol throws him a used tissue which Baekhyun dodged with a smirk.

“Oh, watch me.”

Chanyeol pouts at him with his gross puppy eyes and it’s automatically a lost case for Baekhyun. “Alright motherfucker, you win.” Baekhyun says and just then, his wristwatch beeps, indicating that it’s time for their next class. He stands up and yawns. “Let’s go.”

Chanyeol is still pouting at him. “Don’t wanna. You didn’t call me Oinky.”

Baekhyun lazily walks towards him and hauls him by the arm. “We’re going to be late, you idiot.”

“Call me Oinky first!” Chanyeol looks at him with eager eyes.

Baekhyun sighs in defeat. “Oinky. There. Now come on.”

“Okay, Boinky!”


	4. three

The fact that it only took a while for him to completely open up to Chanyeol still surprises Baekhyun.

He guesses it is safe to say that their friendship keeps progressing as time goes by, seeing that he’s now more comfortable with the boy. He now _talks_ with Chanyeol; as in real talking that includes solid topics and serious conversations and not just lame jokes or snide comments or empty insults. He now talks to him about his problems, his complaints, and his random self-deprecating thoughts that he had never imagined saying to someone out loud.

It was all new to Baekhyun; to feel like he finally had the chance to breathe after staying underwater for so long is a feeling he never thought he needed but he liked it. But if he were to be honest, he is actually scared. He’s scared for the water to come back and fill his lungs until he stays drowning alone forever and this kind of fear is also new to him; the fear of being alone is new to him.

(But if he were to be _more_ honest, he’s more scared of the things Chanyeol can make him feel and the things Chanyeol will make him feel; he’s more scared of being lonely rather than being alone.)

 _It is better to be alone from the start than to be alone because everyone decided to leave you_ , this was Baekhyun’s pathetic self’s pathetic motto. But no matter how pathetic it sounds, to him, it couldn’t get any more appropriate. After all, he wasn’t one to take risks. He would never put his heart on his sleeves just so anyone can pull on it, that’s a stupid move. He would never get himself attached to anyone if that means he will later yearn for their presence when they leave, no, never.

That was what he said and promised to himself, but then, Chanyeol just had to walk into his life and ruin everything and turn him into someone he had fought hard not to be.

“Boinky?”

Chanyeol just had to walk into his life with those gangly limbs and big ears and lopsided smile of his and break down the walls he had built so hard to protect himself.

“Baek?”

Baekhyun isn’t sure if he regrets the changes he is letting himself have, but if they are because of Chanyeol—if they are for Chanyeol, he doesn’t think he’s regretting anything.

“Yah! Are you even listening to me?”

Baekhyun snaps out of his trance when Chanyeol pinches his nose hard. “Ow! Stop! Stop!” He swats Chanyeol’s hand away and gently rubs the tip of his nose with his fingers. “What the fuck is with you?”

Chanyeol glares at him. “You would know if you weren’t spacing out.”

He instantly felt guilt eating up his system, and that tiny pout Chanyeol is giving him is not helping. “Sorry.”

Chanyeol’s glare turned into a worried stare. “What are you thinking about anyway?”

Baekhyun gulps. No, he couldn’t possibly say he just realized that he might or might not be a little bit in love with him. “College.” _Nice. Keep going, Baekhyun._ “Since, you know, senior high is just around the corner.”

“I see.” He internally cheers because Chanyeol seems to take it. “We’re just about on the same page. I was asking if you’ll let the NCAE results define your future or take a different strand.”

“Oh.” He’s pretty sure that Chanyeol already knows, but he still answers, “ABM, of course; the strand we’re both supposed to take.”

He only meant it as a joke, but he panics when he sees Chanyeol’s smile fall. “Oh shit! I’m so—“

“Don’t worry about it.” Chanyeol sends him a small smile. “I’m just… really not into business. You do know that my biggest dream is to be a surgeon, right?”

“Sure, it is.”

Chanyeol’s face slowly starts to light up. “Plus, I got a 99 on STEM! It’s fate.”

And Baekhyun, being the good friend he is, just agrees. “Sure, it is.”

Chanyeol coincidentally has the same path as him; they were both supposed to take over their family’s business one day. Their parents were even delighted when they’ve heard of it that they were actually planning on merging both of their companies when he and Chanyeol become the CEOs because their friendship secures everything, they say. Chanyeol wouldn’t go behind his back, and of course he wouldn’t too, because they’re friends from the start, and it’s a win-win situation for both companies because they wouldn’t have to go through any trust issues.

While Baekhyun actually liked the idea of having his best friend as his business partner, Chanyeol, on the other hand, hated the fact that their parents see their friendship as a mere instrument to strengthen their businesses.

Chanyeol hated that their parents make it look like their friendship was made just to make use of each other in the future. He hated that they’re making a “purpose” of their friendship when there isn’t even supposed to be one.

“Besides, Chaeyoung is there to handle all the business shit.” Chanyeol wiggles his eyebrows and all the tension disappears.

Baekhyun laughs. “Dumping your responsibilities to your baby sister? What a man.”

Chanyeol has his eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean baby? She’s just 2 years younger than me; she’d be responsible enough to be your business partner when the day comes.”

“Hey,” Baekhyun unconsciously furrows his eyebrows. “Why do you make it sound like you’re leaving?”

Chanyeol shrugs and smiles widely. “Who knows, maybe I can make it to Harvard?”

All the thoughts he was having a while ago went back into his head. Of course, Chanyeol is an aspiring doctor, so of course, he dreams of going to Harvard. It’s the best med school as they say, after all.

Of course, Chanyeol will eventually leave, and Baekhyun is too stupid to have known better.

He wrinkles his nose just like he always does when he’s about to insult Chanyeol. “You won’t. They’re allergic to stupid.”

But who was he kidding? Chanyeol is far from stupid. He can make it to any university that he wanted, and how he wishes that Chanyeol is actually as stupid as he acts.

“Hah!” Chanyeol crosses his arms on his chest and leans back with a smug smile etched on his face. “Wait ‘till I slap you in the face with my perfect 1 GPA.”

Baekhyun blinks at him, clearly not interested. “Sure. And if that ever happens, I hope you’re aware that you’re not going to be the first summa cum laude in the whole wide world.”

“Oh, I see where you’re going with this,” Chanyeol smiled so widely and it’s creeping Baekhyun out. “You don’t want me to leave your sorry ass, am I right? You’re going to miss me so much and it will drive you insane.”

Baekhyun slaps his forehead. “Seriously, how do you manage to be so full of yourself all the time.”

“Only for you, Boinky.” Chanyeol sends him a flying kiss and Baekhyun slaps himself again as a reply. “Why, isn’t that true, though?

“What is?”

“Wouldn’t you miss me when I go to America?” Baekhyun doesn’t seem to be fazed so he adds, “To study medicine?”

Baekhyun opens his mouth only to close it again when no words came out. The truth finally comes out. Chanyeol really wants to study abroad, and this is him indirectly asking for permission. But why is Chanyeol asking him anyway? It’s not like his opinion matters. So what if Baekhyun doesn’t want him to go? Will he ever be willing to trade his dream for Baekhyun?

Chanyeol asks for the second time and it surprises Baekhyun because it’s the first time that his eyes are indecipherable. “Wouldn’t you, Baek?” _Wouldn’t you stop me from leaving?_

“No.” is what Baekhyun answered him.

 _I don’t want you to go,_ is what Baekhyun’s eyes are telling him, and Chanyeol is lost in the enigma that is Byun Baekhyun once again.

“Okay.” Chanyeol sends him a forced smile and Baekhyun does not want to know why. “Thank you.”

 _But I hope you would_ , is what Chanyeol really wanted to say. He was half-hoping that Baekhyun wouldn’t let him. He was waiting for Baekhyun to convince him that it’s not only the schools abroad that can add an M.D. on his name and that the universities in their country are also capable of doing that. He was waiting for Baekhyun to bombard him with reasons why he does not have to leave—why he _shouldn’t_ leave. He was waiting for Baekhyun to tell him anything; to do something.

“Sure, anything for you.”

But he didn’t.

Chanyeol sometimes hated that Baekhyun supports him in everything because sometimes, it actually hurts.

“Hey guys.” Chanyeol sees the student council president walking towards where they sit.

Baekhyun smiles at him. “Hey, Junmyeon. What’s up?”

“Nothing, just wanna tell you guys that free time’s over.” Their classmate answers while smiling to the both of them. “And that practice starts in 5 minutes.”

Chanyeol raises an eyebrow. “Practice? What practice?”

“For graduation. Oh, by the way,” The guy, Junmyeon, taps his shoulder twice. “Cheers to the valedictorian.”

Chanyeol shyly laughs. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. See you guys in 5!”

When Junmyeon walks away, Chanyeol turns to Baekhyun and raises his fist with his little finger sticking out. “Let’s make a promise.”

Baekhyun gives him a curious look. “What promise?”

“We’ll go to the same school,” Chanyeol pauses for a second and he continues, “while I’m still here.”

“When are you planning to—” Baekhyun forces the word out of his mouth because he _has_ to, “—leave?”

“I still don’t know yet.” Chanyeol smiles. “But I know it’s not too soon. So, is it a deal?”

He can still stop this. He can cut ties with him while it’s not too late and never contact him again. He can still remove Chanyeol from his life. He still has the chance to say no and turn his back on someone who’s going to leave him one day. He just has to say no—

Baekhyun hooks his little finger onto Chanyeol’s as he smiles back. “Deal.”


	5. four

“Here’s a toast for my Oinky for successfully cheating his way to the top!”

They were at the rooftop of Chanyeol’s house, sitting on top of a comforter under the starless night sky. This night is a bit different than their usual Saturday night picnic. Baekhyun insisted that they should at least celebrate the fact that they are now turning seniors, and he actually did bring a comforter that’s twice his size and carried it all the way to the fourth floor (they usually just use Chanyeol’s laundries to sit on), and so Chanyeol did his part and cooked noodles for the both of them (“That’s just instant noodles, Yeol. I told you to at least exert some effort. This is a date.” “It’s the thought that counts, you ungrateful shit.” “You could’ve just brought ice cubes, they’re better—“ “Shut up, weirdo.”) instead of their usual snack aka hard-boiled eggs.

“Excuse you, I did not cheat!” Chanyeol slurps on his noodles.

Baekhyun wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Don’t leave your sentence incomplete—”

“That often! It was just one time! And it’s not like you don’t!” Chanyeol cuts him off and glares at him with a pout.

“Sure I do.” Baekhyun chuckles and teasingly flicks his forehead. “The only difference is I’m not the rank 1.”

“But you’re the second.”

Baekhyun not-so-lightly punches his right arm. “Just so you know, I only cheated twice this year.”

Chanyeol raises an eyebrow. “And how is that an achievement?”

“It wasn’t.” Baekhyun smirks. “But my name can be seen just below yours on the list and that’s enough to make you happy because you’re a girl like that.”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes at the conceited remark. “You are such an asshole. I wouldn’t date you if I were a girl.”

Baekhyun shrugs with a wide smile. “Does that mean I stand a chance since you were born with a dick?”

Choking on his noodles, Chanyeol turns to look at Baekhyun with wide eyes, but that seems to be his biggest mistake because everything suddenly stops and all he could see is Baekhyun’s moonlit face and gentle smile and shining eyes and how Chanyeol’s so in love with him ever since but he would never want to risk what they have now and so he denies the fast beating of his heart every time he’s with Baekhyun because he doesn’t want this to go wrong.

Yet as he looks at Baekhyun’s eyes, he thinks that maybe, hopefully, he isn’t the only one who wants something more, but that doesn’t mean he’s not scared anymore, because he is. And with Baekhyun getting his hopes up without a tiny bit of assurance, he just got more scared than he already is. “Baek… are you—“

“I was just kidding, relax.” Baekhyun interjects with a forced laugh that Chanyeol would have had noticed if he wasn’t just too fixated on the sound of his heart breaking. “Right, as I was saying,” He claps his hands and Chanyeol subtly flinched at the sudden enthusiasm. “here’s a toast for our future pediatric surgeon.”

“Ah,” Chanyeol lets out a bashful smile because Baekhyun seems to be really proud of him. “but we don’t even have wine—oh god I forgot the drinks!”

“Didn’t you hear me?” Baekhyun reaches for his hand and opens his palm. “I said _toast_.”

“What— _oh._ Really, Byun Baekhyun?”

Chanyeol covers his face out of secondhand embarrassment when he sees Baekhyun pulling out a zipper storage bag from his pocket. He slides the zipper open and takes three small slices of garlic bread out of the plastic, then he puts them on top of Chanyeol’s palm. “There.” He closes Chanyeol’s hand and taps it twice. “Three for ‘congratulations.’”

Chanyeol chokes on a laugh. “W-what the absolute fuck is—“ He couldn’t help but to lie down as he cackles. He laughs for a whole minute before he calms down. “I honestly did not get the punchline and I honestly do not know why it sounded so funny to me, but I’m giving you an A for that.”

“A? For effort?” Baekhyun wiggles his eyebrows.

“No, for airport. Pfft.” He didn’t hear Baekhyun sigh because he was busy laughing at his own “joke”.

“Chanyeol-ah,” Baekhyun calls him in a soft voice, and Chanyeol immediately stops when he senses the latter’s seriousness. “I have something to tell you.”

Chanyeol’s heart was beating so fast when he answered, “W-what is it?”

Baekhyun places both hands on his shoulders and stares directly at his eyes. “No matter what they say, always remember that you are not a mistake, and that you are really special, and that you are beautiful in God’s eyes—“

He pushes Baekhyun away from him with a groan. “Fucking hell! You scared me! I thought you were going to say something serious!”

Baekhyun chuckles. “One’s self-worth is of utmost importance. I needed to reassure you that you are beautiful in your way because God makes no mistakes—“

“I swear to God, Byun Baekhyun, go Lady Gaga on me and I’ll kill you.” Chanyeol shoves a toast into Baekhyun’s mouth. “And for your information, I know that every part of me is beautiful, you didn’t have to say it. But if you insist then—”

Baekhyun takes a toast from Chanyeol’s hand and shoves it into the latter’s mouth as well. “Nevermind. I take everything back. You’re an ugly piece of shit.”

“Well, excuse you—pfft.” Chanyeol struggles to contain his laughter. “Everyone wants a piece of this ass.”

“Hah.” Baekhyun wrinkles his nose and laughs. “What ass are you talking about because I don’t see one.”

“Don’t worry,” Chanyeol smirks. “You’ll be eating it one day.”

Baekhyun shakes his head and sighs. “I’m so tired of being the man of your wet dreams.”

“W-what—how—I-I don’t even dream about you!” Chanyeol splutters as his whole face turns red.

“Sure you don’t.” Baekhyun sticks his tongue out and both of them laugh at the childish gesture.

They stayed silent for a while to finish their food and it made Chanyeol think if he could live without this. He asks himself if he can manage to be happy without Baekhyun teasing and annoying him every second—if he can still manage to be happy without Baekhyun now that he had known him.

He doesn’t think he can, because just by imagining Baekhyun doing those to someone else—being happy _with_ and _because_ of someone that’s not him makes his chest constrict and he doesn’t want that to happen. He needs to be the only one in Baekhyun’s eyes. He needs to make Baekhyun his. He needs to make Baekhyun—

“Marry me.”

His eyes were twice as wide as Baekhyun’s after hearing what he just said because he wasn’t supposed to say it out loud. Chanyeol can feel his cheeks burning. “T-that song got stuck o-on my head because Chaeyoung doesn’t seem to have discovered that thing called next button yet and the walls in this house are just thin. Ha—haha.” Why, it’s partly true though, Chanyeol defends himself in his mind.

”Aw,” Baekhyun coos. “That’s cute.”

“Believe me, it’s not.” Chanyeol sighs. “Especially when she wails because ‘ _Baekhyun oppa will never sing this to me eeengk’_.”

Baekhyun bites his lower lip and plays with his fingers. “About that… I... I’m sorry.”

“Come on,” Chanyeol hits his arm lightly. “It’s not like she’s the first person you rejected. I mean, you basically rejected half of the school’s population.”

Baekhyun is still not looking at him when he answers, “She’s your sister.”

Chanyeol raises an eyebrow and no, he’s _not_ jealous. “So? Should she receive some kind of a special treatment from you just because she’s my sister? That’s unfair.”

“Shh! She might hear you. And,” Baekhyun unconsciously makes a tiny pout. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“She’s at her friend’s house tonight, probably busy painting each other’s nails—hey.” Chanyeol covers Baekhyun’s entire face with his palms. “Stop that. You’re making me feel guilty.”

 “ _Hm shmrshf._ ” _I’m sorry._

“Stooop!” Chanyeol whines, kicking his legs like a child. “I told you to stooop!”

Baekhyun moves Chanyeol’s hands away from his face. “Alright, alright. Your hands stink, you know.”

“I know. I did the five knuckle shuffle before you came and I didn’t wash my hands.” Chanyeol guffaws at Baekhyun’s pale face.

“Wha—what the fuck,” Baekhyun looks violated. “Did you really?”

Chanyeol fakes a gasp. He wipes a nonexistent tear under his right eye and fans himself with his right hand. “You think so lowly of me. I can’t believe you.”

Baekhyun stifles his laugh. “You act like a 45-year old lady with a large pink feathery hat and a gooey vuitton.”

Chanyeol has his eyebrows furrowed. “A gooey wha—“ This time, Chanyeol gasps for real, with his cheeks flushed that can still be seen even in the dark. “You really think I do that—that kind of t-thing?!”

Baekhyun shrugs. “Eh, don’t you? I do it like every—“

“Ah!” Chanyeol squeaks and covers Baekhyun’s face with his hands again because what the fuck? How could he talk about it so casually like it’s a normal topic? “I don’t know if I should feel flattered at the fact that you’re finally opening up to me, but let’s please not talk about this again.”

Baekhyun takes Chanyeol’s hands away from his face and kisses the back of his right hand. “But you started it, princess.”

Chanyeol’s heart beats rapidly at both the name and the action and he pulls his hands away from Baekhyun’s. “I-I shouldn’t be the girl here.”

“You really shouldn’t be,” Baekhyun smiles at him. “Because then you wouldn’t date me, right?”

Chanyeol’s heart started beating wildly again and this time he couldn’t breathe properly. He isn’t dense. He understands the hints Baekhyun has been giving him these past few weeks. But he doesn’t want to believe in them just yet, because he really, _really_ likes Baekhyun. It took him years to gather the courage to talk to Baekhyun, and he doesn’t want to lose everything they have now just because he can’t control his feelings anymore.

But what Baekhyun is doing right now… it should mean something, doesn’t it? Maybe this isn’t just a joke for Baekhyun. Maybe he actually does stand a chance with him.

Maybe… maybe they could be something else. Maybe they could be something _more_ than what they are now.

“Why?” Chanyeol answers after a long time. Hesitantly, he turns his head to look at Baekhyun in the eyes. “Would you ask me out if I were a girl?”

He had always dreamt of having this kind of conversation with Baekhyun since seventh grade. He was young back then, and he just wants to know why his stomach feels funny whenever his eyes catch a sight of Baekhyun across the classroom, or why his mood is dampened whenever Baekhyun would borrow a pen from their classmates and not from him, or why a sting is present in his chest when that Do guy is automatically partnered with him during projects just because they’re seatmates, or that time when he didn’t know why he wanted to shout so badly at their teacher for not making him sit beside Baekhyun just because B is far from P in the alphabet when it’s almost just the same in Hangul.

But that’s not the question anymore. Now, three years later, he only wanted to ask Baekhyun if his stomach also feels funny when he’s with him, or if he feels mad when Chanyeol is with someone else, or if he also wanted to be with him every second of the day.

Chanyeol had a lot of questions to ask Baekhyun back then, but now, he just wants to know if Baekhyun feels the same.

“Why?” Baekhyun asks, staring back at him with a smile.  “Would you change your mind and date me if I say I would?”

Chanyeol smiles back at him, and for the first time, Chanyeol doesn’t feel lost. For the first time, Baekhyun’s eyes held certainty, and it is more than enough for Chanyeol to know that what he’s about to say is not something he will regret.

“Yes.”

Baekhyun reaches for his hand, intertwines it with his, and then he places it on top of his left chest. “Then that’s my answer as well.”

Chanyeol pulls his hand away from Baekhyun, and pushes him down the comforter. He lies down beside him and places his head on top of Baekhyun’s left chest instead, closing his eyes as he listens to the rhythm of the heart that is beating just as fast as his own. “Yes?”

Baekhyun kisses the top of Chanyeol’s head. He holds him close with his left arm while he puts his other hand below his head as a makeshift pillow. With a wide smile and a wildly beating heart, he closes his eyes.

“Yes.”


End file.
